KiravsL dot com
by Parce que
Summary: Light is bored. So is L. When both happen to stumble across a little site that a shinigami, 3 crazed kira-supporters, an L-obssessed maniac, three certain successors and ...Bob...are chatting on, things get a little...well...crazy. T for language.


**Disclaimer: **Death Note is not mine….

**AN: **So, I was chatting with a wonderful friend of mine, **sKyhe, **one dull day, when suddenly---BAM! Up popped an idea! What did L and Light do during the more tedious hours of the Kira Investigation? With free internet access sitting in front of them, and backs turn to each other 99% of the time…a little 'random research' wouldn't hurt, would it? And, of course, maybe, just maybe…they'll stumble across a little Kira vs. L forum…Oh, and wouldn't it be convenient, if this was on a Saturday, and Near, Mello, and Matt happened to stumble across the same site? Along with some other Kira fanatics…and maybe a certain L fanatic? And, of course, some random unknown user. (And a really bored Ryuuk that just learned how to type…)

This, of course, would NEVER happen in the actual anime/manga, and it's no piece of serious fanfic work…just a little fun piece of internet goodness, so don't flip out on me and go 'wth it's soo stupid' or anything like that.

And so, with that in mind…I present to you…

**KiravsL(dot)com, a Kira and L Discussion and Chat Forum Site**

Bored.

He was so goddamn bored.

Every day, he'd sit, collecting data, reading data, analyzing data…data, data, data, like a little annoying song stuck in the back of his head. The action itself was a simple motion, he had no use of data on the people he had already analyzed and killed.

When Light was at home, he could carry out his judgments, and the boredom would vanish, at least for a little while. During his time spent with the strange should-be-obese-but-looks-anorexic L, other than watching the man stuff himself with pink blobs of nasty sweetness, he would do what he was doing now.

That is, staring dully at a computer screen, and thinking nasty thoughts about the panda-man sitting on the other side of the room. If Light had a face on the backside of his head, it would be horrifyingly contorted in an attempt to mock the detective.

Unfortunately, he only had one face, one that he'd rather not disfigure unless it couldn't be helped—sometimes in his happy moments, his laughs got the better of him. So…due to the lack of a second face…Light could only data-fy stuff.

Without putting much thought into the act, Light typed his global title in the current search engine he was using. As long as it had something to do with Kira, Light didn't think L would mind…much. And being flattered by remarks on the godliness of Kira certainly did more for his ego than mademoiselle Data.

Results filled the pages of Google, and Light's eyes got to work.

_Kira, our Saviour…The Legend of Lord Kira…Kira Kleans our Krazy World…The Rugrats: Kira's Missing Teddy Bear_ (Light mentally noted to punish the creators of the Rugrats for taking up a space on the search result page where _his _title should be)_…Justice will prevail…Kira sucks...Lor—_

Whoa.

"Kira _sucks_?!?"

"…I'm glad you've realized that, Light-kun, but please, can you keep it down?"

Light suppressed a blush from surfacing, and turned to L, apologizing. Then, as soon as L turned back around, his mouse pointer attacked the site link.

_KiravsL(dot)com, a friendly discussion and chat forum._

Suddenly, Light saw a path out of his dark tunnel of boredom.

…Well, if L asked…Light could just say he was investigating the opinions of the average friendly forum visitor on Kira and L's feud.

-------------------

Meanwhile, L had also been occupying himself by finding numerous ways to satisfy his own ego. After all, he could count on Light-kun to do all the work and report it to him later on that day.

And so it happened that he typed in the letter 'L' on Google's very convenient search bar located at the top of his screen.

Since very little things escaped his sharp, chocolaty, hunger-inducing eyes, it was only natural that he caught the little preview comment located below the link to a chat forum.

L apparently stood for 'loser that needs to go buy a life on eBay.'

"Light-kun, what is an e-bay?" asked L.

"…It's an online shopping site. Why do you want to know?"

L ignored his question.

_You cannot logically purchase a life on an online shopping site, _L thought irritably. He entered the site, intending to tell the foolish user just that.

----------------------------

_Welcome to KiravsL(dot)com, a friendly discussion and chat forum. _

_Users Currently Online: L's_a_pervert, futuregoddess101, gimmeallurapples, KAMI_SAMA, LABBqqbb, _and_ Bob._

_gimmeallurapples(5:57:18): _kira sucks.

_L's_a_pervert(5:57:21): _does not!!!

_KAMI_SAMA(5:57:20): _DO NOT INSULT GOD IN THAT MANNER. Or else you shall be eliminated...

_futuregoddess101(5:57:28): _I believe that Kira is doing the right thing. People that do not do good for society are better off dead.

_KAMI_SAMA(5:57:38): _Well said, futuregoddess101.

_Bob(5:57:52): _lol I just pop up here to check things out, u all seem so serious about everything.

_LABBqqbb(5:57:55): _heh, who cares about kira. he tried to kill me.

_L's_a_pervert(5:58:02): _but kira-sama only does that to bad people!

_futuregoddess101(5:58:02): _…Thank goodness we're only chatting online.

_KAMI_SAMA(5:58:07): _I believe that is what LABBqqbb meant to imply, L's_a_pervert. Although, as a member of Kami-sama's soon-to-be New World, I will tolerate retards.

_L's_a_pervert(5:58:12): _are you calling l's-a-pervert a retard?!?

_futuregoddess101(5:58:15): _You are, if you're asking that question.

_L's_a_pervert(5:58:17): _l's-a-pervert is gonna kill you!

_Bob(5:58:17): _is it just me or did the apple dude disappear?

_futuregoddess101(5:58:21): _Now that you mention it…he just randomly posted that one comment and hasn't said anything since.

_LABBqqbb(5:58:25): _probably dead. Hahahaha!

_futuregoddess101(5:58:30): _Laughing at the deaths of innocents is cruel. I can see why Kira-sama tried to kill you.

_LABBqqbb(5:58:35): _people die all the time. i'm just enjoying myself before i do too. HAHA!

_Gimmeallurapples(5:58:47): _lol ftw pwn lmao rofl omg omfg stfu ttyl wtf g2g XD XP DX :D :) :( I WANNA EAT APPLEZ

_Bob(5:58:57): _…weird guy.

I_dont_suck_ has entered the chat._

_L's_a_pervert(5:59:00): _hi

_I_dont_suck(5:59:09): _KIRA DOES NOT SUCK!

_Bob(5:59:15): _whoa dude say hi first

_KAMI_SAMA(5:59:25): _I agree, I_dont_suck. God does NOT 'suck.'

_I_dont_suck(5:59:26): _Ahem, sorry about that. What I meant to say was, gimmeallurapples, I assume that you wish to eat apples? If you give me your name, I can certainly deliver my apples to you.

_LABBqqbb(5:59:32): _i wouldn't expect him to reply soon if i were u…

_futuregoddess101(5:59:39): _Yes, he's like some little toddler that just learned how to type…

_gimmeallurapples(5:59:43): _adufhrfgbAP:PPLEZjfrbiu!ckdhcjd!!!!!!!11!eleven!!

_I_dont_suck(5:59:49): _I assume that this guy isn't 100% sane, then…well, maybe insanity drove him to state that I suck, so I'll let him off this time…

_KAMI_SAMA(5:59:56): _You…be…KAMI-SAMA?!?!?!?

_LABBqqbb(6:00:00): _if that dude's kira, i'm L.

_L's_a_pervert(6:00:02): _KIRA-KUN!!!!! Yay! L's-a-pervert luvs kira-kun!

_futuregoddess101(6:00:04): _My apologies, but Ms. Futuregoddess101-sama has fainted and will not be able to continue this conversation. I will have to exit the chat room for her.

futuregoddess101 _has left the chat._

_LABBqqbb(6:00:14): _lucky you, Kira. that's one less potential rapist…the other, tho, u need to watch out for.

_I_dont_suck(6:00:20): _…oh s---

_Admin(6:00:21): _Please refrain from using inappropriate language. Thank you.

_KAMI_SAMA(6:00:25): _OMG KAMI-SAMA I LOVE YOU I'M UR NUMBER 1 FAN PLEASE CAN I HAVE YOUR VIRTUAL AUTOGRAPH I PROMISE I WON'T RAPE YOU I THINK, AND I HOPE YOU PWN L CUZ L STANDS FOR LOSER THAT NEEDS TO GO BUY A LIFE ON EBAY AND YOU'RE SO AWESOME I LOVE YOU!!!

_Bob(6:00:34): _i feel like i'm in a fanfic that some insane maniac wrote…

_Gimmeallurapples(6:00:45): _hduhf gimme apples osdjfi kira sux

_I_dont_suck(6:00:50): _I can sympathize, Bob…

StrawberryPandaPuff _has entered the chat._

_LABBqqbb(6:00:56): _strawberry panda puff? what kind of a name is that?

_Bob(6:01:01): _ur one to talk…

_LABBqqbb(6:01:07): _…i prefer strawberry-jam panda puff.

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:01:07): _Kami_sama, you cannot logically purchase a life on an online shopping site.

_KAMI_SAMA(6:01:10): _GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:01:16): _And I highly doubt God chats online.

_I_dont_suck(6:01:23): _…You can never be certain…

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:01:31): _And you, I_dont_suck, are obviously too stupid to be Kira. I do not understand why the others would fall for your attention-seeking trick.

_I_dont_suck(6:01:37): _…Are you insulting me?

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:01:45): _Evidently, you are too unintelligent to refrain from asking such a n00bish question, as online chatters call it.

_I_dont_suck(6:01:49):_…'noobish?'

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:01:57): _Of course, the possibility that you are Kira could be very high. Your 6:01:10 post suggests Kira's god-complex to be present, and your purposeful 'trick' is just a sample of Kira's loved-to-be-used reverse-psychology. Furthermore, your initial response to my accusations of you being Kira was a question of my intentions on your intelligence. I'm sure Kira would have spent the 6 second synapse to analyze the different possible response to my accusation, and choose the best answer possible and type it within a reasonable amount of time. However, you overestimated the finger-tapping speed of your average trickster.

_Bob(6:02:09):_…whoa. he typed that in 8 seconds…

_LABBqqbb(6:02:10): _I can in 7.

_I_dont_suck(6:02:12): _huh? what r u talking about? nerd…

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:02:16): _Ha! You have analyzed possible responses and taken time into consideration, waiting until after Bob posts, and switched to the talk-type and obliviousness of an average trickster with a plan gone wrong. The percentage that you are indeed Kira has shot up…

_Bob(6:02:21): _and he typed that in 4…

_LABBqqbb(6:02:21): _I can in 3.

_I_dont_suck(6:02:22): _dude with the pink panda obsession, this is a freakin online chat. chillax.

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:02:25): _And your tone and voice has changed as well…interesting.

_L's_a_pervert(6:02:30): _uh…l's-a-pervert is lost…

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:02:32): _Ah, I've been meaning to address this matter…your username bothers me greatly.

_L's_a_pervert(6:02:42): _huh? l's-a-pervert's username? but its true! he likes to lock pretty ppl like misa-misa up and stare at them thru a magic glass…

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:02:46): _…There is no such thing as magic, just like there are no such beings as…shinigami…

_I_don't_suck(6:02:52): _Sounds like you had a bad experience with one…

_Gimmeallurapples(6:02:55):_ SWCRIFCE UR APPPLEZ 2 ME AAL YOU FUNI MORRTALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

g4m3_b0y _has entered the chat._

MegaLegoMan _has entered the chat._

i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs _has entered the chat. _

_Bob(6:03:02): _Yo.

_i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs(6:03:03): _yeah i freakin beat that albino freak to this site!

_MegaLegoMan(6:03:07): _Actually, you didn't.

_L's_a_pervert(6:03:12): _…l's-a-pervert is loster.

_StrawberyyPandaPuff(6:03:14): _'Loster' is not a word.

_L's_a_pervert(6:03:20): _it is to l's-a-pervert.

_g4m3_b0y(6:03:24): _Mels? Ya still there? …did he have a heart attack?

_MegaLegoMan(6:03:29): _I'll go check his room…

_g4m3_b0y(6:03:35): _Wait! If he's alive, then he might…commit murder…when you walk in…

_I_dont_suck(6:03:39): _Murder, you say? …What is this white-pj hater's name?

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:03:40): _Suspicion rising by 1.02487 percent.

_g4m3_b0y(6:03:42): _I think mels is in shock…wait a minute, k?

_Bob(6:03:45): _what an interesting bunch of ppl…if they're even human…

_Gimmeallurapples(6:03:43): _efihrhbevhiuvhif!!!!!!!!apLleZ!!!!!!Dcdckif!!!!

_i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs(6:03:48): _I FUCKIN HEARD U SHUT THE HELL UP MATT THE WHOLE BUILDING CAN HEAR U

_Admin(6:03:49): _Please refrain from using inappropriate language. Thank you.

_g4m3_b0y(6:03:52): _Well…that was a bit…too successful…

_i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs(6:03:56): _HOW THE FUCKIN HELL DID THAT PJ-CLAD SNOWBALL GET HERE B4 ME ANYWAYS?

_Admin(6:03:57): _Please refrain from using inappropriate language. Thank you.

_MegaLegoMan(6:04:03): _If you are referring to me, I simple gained access to this chat while you were forming your unnecessarily long username.

_i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs(6:04:07): _goddamned…snowball…I HOPE U MELT IN HELL!!!!!

_Admin(6:04:08): _Please refrain from using inappropriate language. Thank you.

_I_dont_suck(6:04:14): _Does any1 kno what happened to Kami_sama?

_KAMI_SAMA(6:04:20): _GOD HAS CALLED FOR ME?!? YES?!?

_I_dont_suck(6:04:23): _Oh.

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:04:24): _That was not an intelligent idea.

_i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs(6:04:27): _I DON'T FUCKIN CARE ABOUT NO KAMI-SAMA HE CAN DAMN THAT WHITE FIZZY SNOWBALL TO HELL

_Admin(6:04:28): _Please refrain from using inappropriate language. Thank you.

_MegaLegoMan(6:04:38): _Ahem. Snowballs do not have afterlives.

_KAMI_SAMA(6:04:38): _I shall not obey the commands of one other than God. Shall I eliminate him for his impudence, O God Who Does Not Suck?

_I_dont_suck(6:04:45): _Um…I think I agree with Pink Panda Obsessor over there.

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:04:46): _There are brown strawberries too, you know.

_I_don't_suck(6:04:49): _But those are rotten.

_LABBqqbb(6:04:52): _and they taste bad in jam…

_Bob(6:04:57): _O…kay…

_g4m3_b0y(6:05:03): _YEAH LVL 293! FTW!

_Bob(6:05:07): _O…kay…

_i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs(6:05:12): _WTF WHO CARES ABOUT 293? WHY AREN'T YOU STRANGLING FUCKIN SNOWBALL-DUDE LIKE I ORDERED U TO IN THAT PM??!?!?

i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs _has left the chat._

_Admin(6:05:13): i_hate_feckin_snowballz_in_white_pjs_ has been banned for overuse of inappropriate language.

_MegaLegoMan(6:05:17): _He plans on…strangling…me? Apologies for my sudden leave, but I have a life (my own) to protect.

MegaLegoMan_ has left the chat._

_g4m3_b0y(6:05:21): _Oh crap…I hear angry footsteps…

_g4m3_b0y(6:05:23): _OH SHIT HDJFIH—

_Admin(6:05:24): _Please refrain from using inappropriate language. Thank you.

_g4m3_b0y(6:05:28): _HOW FUCKIN DARE THEY BAN ME?!?! WHAT KIND OF FREAKIN SITE IS THIS?!? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO SNOWBALL DUDE?

_Admin(6:05:29): _Please refrain from using inappropriate language. Thank you.

_Bob(6:05:33): _Uh…MegaLegoMan? He left.

_g4m3_b0y(6:05:42): _sorry about that, my friend is a bit…violent. He's gone now, tho…

_g4m3_b0y(6:05:47): _OH SHIT HE KILLED MY COMPUTER GAME!! DANG!! I DIED!!! Sorry, gotta save my game!

_Admin(6:05:48): _Please refrain from using inappropriate language. Thank you.

g4m3_b0y _has left the chat._

_I_dont_suck(6:05:53): _Well…um…online chatting is an interesting experience…

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:05:54): _Indeed.

_I_dont_suck(6:05:58): _I'll…be…ah…going.

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:05:59): _Indeed.

_I_dont_suck(6:06:02): _…Okay…

I_dont_suck _has left the chat._

_KAMI_SAMA(6:06:07): _…GOD?!?! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My online life has no meaning any longer…

KAMI_SAMA _has left the chat._

_StrawberryPandaPuff(6:06:10): _Well, my point has been made, my Kira suspect has left, so…

StrawberryPandaPuff _has left the chat._

_LABBqqbb(6:06:13): _huh…it's no fun here no that everyone's left.

_Bob(6:06:17): _i'm still here.

_LABBqqbb(6:06:19): _…You don't count.

_Bob(6:06:25): _hey! is that an insult?!?!?

_LABBqqbb(6:06:27): _Ja.

_Bob(6:06:30): _hey! wait!

LABBqqbb _has left the chat._

_Bob(6:06:32): _sheesh…

Bob _has left the chat._

_L's_a_pervert(6:06:34): _eh…? l's-a-pervert is confused!!!!!

_L's_a_pervert(6:06:38): _…hello?

_L's_a_pervert(6:06:42): _WHERE IS EVERYBODY?!?!

_L's_a_pervert(6:06:47): _l's-a-pervert feels abandoned…

_L's_a_pervert(6:06:52): _and l's-a-pervert didn't finish talking about the magic glass and shinigamis…

L's_a_pervert _has left the chat._

_Gimmeallurapples(6:06:59): _AAPPLEZ R ALL MNE U HUMAN SUCKAZ!!!

------------

Back in the real world, an amused L turned his swivel chair towards a certain brunet, who appeared to be in the process of shuffling through endless mounds of data. Suddenly, a need for strawberry flavored panda puffs rose in the detective.

"Light-kun, we'll be taking a break now."

"Hungry again, Ryuuzaki?"

"No," he lied. "I simply think that we are quite deserving of a few minutes of rest after this very productive day."

-End-

Thanks to **skyhe **for contribution to ideas!!


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